Drama seems to be everywhere. No matter how many technological advances are created to save time or make life convenient, no one seems to have enough time and everyone is stressed to the limit. Drama prevents you from being all that you can be, hampers productivity, drains your energy and takes you out of your power.
Drama keeps you stirred up, immobilized, upset, unhappy and otherwise dysfunctional. Drama can be detected in your emotions, your beliefs, your patterns, your language, your assumptions, your guilt, your judgments your worry, and your behaviors.
However the patterns manifest in relationships, whether that relationship is with a boss, a co-worker, your children or your spouse.
In 1968 Dr Stephen Karpman, an award winning and highly respected psychiatrist, known for his contributions to transactional analysis, developed a concept that has helped people across the globe identify the drama and eliminate the destructive patterns that hamper productivity and damage relationships. The concept is known as the Karpman Drama Triangle.
Dr Karpman’s Drama Triangle is one model that I use in workshops to help people to “stop the drama” so that they can reach their potential and build rewarding relationships. Once you learn about the model, you become better at managing conflict whether you are a leader in your organizaiton or trying to parent teenagers.
In fact, the average person can use this tool quite effectively in assessing and understanding their own interpersonal relationship challenges, regardless of whether the challenges pertain personally or professionally.
Simplified Snapshot:
On the Drama Triangle, there are three major roles that people play: Persecutor, Rescuer and Victim. The diagram as Dr. Karpman originally developed it is an equilateral upside down triangle. The victim is Dramacool at the bottom point. That is because the Persecutor and the Rescuer are in the one-up position. The Victim feels helpless, the Rescuer has the answer and the Persecutor tells you whose fault it is.
The behaviors and patterns evident in the victim are depression, fear neediness, low self-esteem and looking to others for answers.
The Rescuer exhibits controlling tendencies, giving unwanted advice, overextending, worrying, taking on other people’s problems and trying to be the hero.
The persecutor shows up in various forms: finger pointing, faultfinding, angry outbursts, lack of compassion, perfectionism, and judging others.
Drama might help you to get what you want at the present moment, but drama eventually keeps you from getting what you deserve.
What you want is a job, the title, more money, or prestige. What you deserve is to work with a company that incorporates your talents, intelligence and gifts, so that you can live a life of purpose and enjoy the profits of your labor.